4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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