if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
