im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
