so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
