I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
