ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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