Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
What a dumb baby whore.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
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