Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
