the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
