Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
