do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
