I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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