Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
