Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
