I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
