he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Did I show you my penis last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Found the puke drawer
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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