i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i believe in u and ur pee
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
