How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize