as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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