Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Umm I'm too high to move.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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