OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize