But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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