i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I could have mohawked her pubes.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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