So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
