I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
