I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Come see our sink grown plant.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize