Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
