Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
