North Korea, Best Korea!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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