come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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