I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize