Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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