seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
