i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
