if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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