When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
