Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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