i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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