I want you more than these girls want KFC
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
