Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
