please come you make the beer taste better
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
