when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
