You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize