so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
