My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
