I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dick very happy bro
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
