so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
