Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Fuck appropriateness.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
