i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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