I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
