Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
