i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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