That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
