On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize