i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Help. Why am I so naked?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
