..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
