A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
