in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
