She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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