I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
