A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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