Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
