just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize