she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
4 words: hood of his car
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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