my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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