I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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