but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
