i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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