Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
