im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
