Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize