Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
