The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
