I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
