He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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