Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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