the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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