I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize