I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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