Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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